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Some of my fav Chuck Norrisisms

You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars, he has more than you.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once, he'll roundhouse kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble you win. Forever.